Who is responsible for your happiness, your self-worth? Is it based on other people’s opinion of you, like your spouse or significant other, your co-worker’s, the world at large? Why is that? Why do we depend so much on others to define who we are, what we should wear, do and be? That we let true happiness slip through our fingers? True happiness comes from within, it comes from finding you, from finding a connection with the Almighty, or your Higher Power. To me that is God and his Plan of Happiness. Perhaps it is different for others, but for me it provides direction and assurance of who I am, why I am here and where I am going.
There was a time that who I was and my identity depended on others. Without them, I didn’t exist. Who I was, was who they wanted me to be, like a chameleon. Years of abuse produced that person and looking back I don’t even recognize her now. It took many more years of help to re-find my true self and learn that I could be who I was meant to be and that the only one that could truly make me happy was me and my relationship with God. Even at the age I am now I’m still exploring who I am and the world around me. I find there are still things that I want to do and to accomplish in this life and I should have at least 20 years if not more to make them happen. You are never to old to heal, to learn and to understand that the only one responsible for your happiness is you. It is not your parents, or your partner or anyone else’s responsibility, it is yours. You can find it when you quit listening to everyone that says you should look like this, or wear this, or experience this, etc. It’s all hype designed to make you spend money on things you don’t need to make you happy.
Happiness comes from within, not from things, not from drugs, alcohol or sex. It comes from within, from learning to love yourself, from forgiving yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. We all make mistakes, it’s part of being human. The important thing is to learn from them and move on, not to keep making them and not learning anything. So stop putting yourself down, each day look in the mirror and tell yourself one good thing about yourself. This can be hard, I know from experience. There was a time that the only reason I looked in the mirror was to put on my makeup and do my hair. Other than that, I couldn’t stand to look at myself, that was how much self-loathing I had. These days I look in the mirror and think I need to be taking better care of myself, but there is no hate towards myself. Some years ago I had the opportunity of doing a weekend retreat on forgiveness, which included forgiving yourself. It was well worth the time and expense. In fact I paid for the retreat by doing transcribing for the therapist. It’s never too late to start the journey to happiness. Start today with forgiving yourself and then those around you. Let them carry the burden of unforgiveness instead of you. Find happiness in your journey through this life. Please enjoy the message that is included with today’s Thursday Thoughts.